You've rewritten the email to your manager three times. You want more responsibility, or fewer competing priorities, or some indication of what “doing well” means. Every version sounds either too apologetic or like you're starting a fight.
That's something you can bring to a career coach. A good one will help you look at what you want to change, what the other person needs to understand, and how to ask for it in words you'd actually use.
Career coaching gives you a place to think through a work problem and decide what to do next. Sometimes the work fits in one conversation. Sometimes it helps to come back after you've tried something and figure out the next part together.
What happens in a session
You might come in because you just became a manager and feel out of your depth, or because you want a career change but can't afford to start over. A good first session starts with what's been happening.
Here's what that typically involves:
Clarity. You may know you're unhappy without knowing what you'd change. A coach might ask about a recent week: what you dreaded, what you enjoyed, and where you felt stuck. Those details help you work out which part deserves attention first.
Strategy. Once the question is clearer, you choose a next step. For a difficult conversation, that might mean drafting the request and practicing how you'd respond to pushback. For a career change, it might mean identifying roles to investigate before you commit to retraining. The plan needs to fit your situation and the time you actually have.
Follow-through. If you meet again, you look at what happened. Did you send the email? What did they say? If you couldn't bring yourself to send it, what got in the way? That gives you both something to work with, including whether the plan needs to change. You don't need to manufacture progress to have a useful session.
Practice. If you need to give feedback or push back on a request, you can rehearse the conversation. You can try a few versions, hear how they sound, and prepare for the response you're worried about.
Choosing the kind of support you need
It's not therapy. Coaching focuses on workplace decisions, conversations, and practical next steps. A coach doesn't diagnose or treat mental health conditions, and coaching doesn't replace clinical care. You can work with a therapist and a coach for different kinds of support. Here's more on choosing the support you need.
It can overlap with mentorship. A mentor may share experience, ask good questions, and help you develop. A coach may draw on their own experience too, but should check whether it applies to your situation, and say so when you need specialized knowledge of a field they don't know. The decisions stay yours.
Friends can help too. Sometimes talking with someone who knows you is enough. Coaching gives you dedicated time to work on the problem with someone outside your day-to-day life. A coach brings their own assumptions, so part of the work is checking that they've understood you.
It's not a recruiter or placement service. A coach won't find you a job. They help you figure out what job you actually want, how to position yourself for it, and how to navigate the process. Some coaches also offer job search support, like résumé positioning and interview prep. A recruiter is the person to speak to about roles they're hiring for.
When career coaching makes sense
Not everyone needs a career coach. Here are the situations where it's usually worth it:
You're stuck and can't figure out why. You've been in the same role for years, you're not growing, but you can't articulate what you'd rather be doing. You need someone to help you see the bigger picture.
You just got promoted into management. You were great at your individual contributor job, and now you're managing people who used to be your peers. A coach can work through a real situation with your team with you: giving feedback, delegating a task, or setting expectations with your own boss.
You need to have a hard conversation. Maybe it's asking for a raise. Maybe it's telling your boss their feedback style isn't working. Maybe it's negotiating an exit. A coach helps you prepare for high-stakes conversations so you don't wing it and regret it later.
You're planning a career change. Whether it's switching industries, going from corporate to non-profit, or returning to work after time away, a coach can help you look at the steps involved alongside your income needs.
You know what you want but can't get there. You've got the ambition and the skills, but something keeps getting in the way. Maybe it's imposter syndrome. Maybe it's bad boundaries. Maybe it's a toxic workplace you need help navigating your way out of.
You dread Monday most weeks. A coach can help you look at what's behind that and whether there are changes worth trying in your current job.
How to pick a career coach
Before you commit to working with someone, ask a few questions.
Ask about relevant experience. If you're looking for help managing a team, ask what experience the coach has with that work and how they use it in sessions. You can ask about their training too.
Notice how the conversation feels. Can you disagree with them? Do they ask questions that help you think, and listen to the answers? If they offer an introductory conversation, use it to find out.
Ask about their approach. Some coaches are very structured (frameworks, assessments, homework). Some are more exploratory (conversation-driven, intuition-based). Neither is wrong, but you should know what you're getting and whether it matches how you work best.
Be wary of guarantees. Ask what you'll actually work on and how you'll decide whether it's useful. A coach can't promise a job offer, a promotion, or a cooperative manager. Other people's decisions and the conditions around you matter too.
Look at who they work with. A coach who specializes in executive transitions might not be the best fit if you're a mid-career individual contributor. Find someone whose typical client looks like you.
A small example of the work
Erin wanted more responsibility in her current role and wasn't sure how to ask without sounding accusatory. We worked on an email to her supervisor. Her supervisor was receptive, and she took on a larger project that she says improved her day-to-day experience at work.
That was one client's experience. It gives you a concrete example of what coaching can work on: a request you care about, how to make it, and what you learn from the response. Read Erin's story and other client experiences.
What it was like to work with me
I should probably tell you my version of this.
My coaching started with a free, 60-minute first session. People brought a question, a decision, or a situation they kept turning over in their head, and often left with an email draft, a conversation to try, or a clearer idea of what needed their attention. Sometimes one session was enough; sometimes we kept meeting.
My style was direct. I'd tell people when I thought they were selling themselves short, push back when a plan had holes, and tell them when they were overthinking it and needed to just go do the thing.
I no longer offer coaching sessions (here's why). If this one hit close to home, or you'd like me to write about your version of it, send me an email.
Let's make work suck less,
Peter